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  • ursulalaughton

Don't change the world, change yourself

Updated: Oct 21, 2022

Most people have an idea or an opinion about how the world should change. Many are inspired to be the change maker. However, many of these same people are full of self-doubt, or struggle to feel that they belong in the world. Perhaps they feel angry at the world for the mistreatment or misfortune that they have experienced? So, nothing changes!

What if we stopped layering ourselves with responsibility to change the world and focused closer to home? What if the world I experience is different to the world you experience, all because I see it differently? Could a change of perception be all that is needed to change your world or at least your experience of it?


Is it possible to change our approach, to changing the world? Instead of using the usual channels of protest or taking on a 'role' like a political position or the perpetual habit of blaming someone else, maybe we could consciously turn our attention on our individual self and assess the current role we play in keeping this broken system called society, in motion. Would anything change?


You see, the world cannot change until You (I) change. Could it be that simple? There is NO other way! A reflection in a mirror cannot change unless the person standing in front of the mirror changes. If we want the world to change, we have only one thing to do – change ourselves.


What needs to change about you? The reflection of you (the mirror), is the world you experience. The only way to know what needs to change is to look into the mirror and be very honest with yourself. If you cannot see kindness, it is time to ask how kind you’ve been. Remember, this is not just about kindness towards others but more importantly kindness towards yourself.


The ability to change is reliant on an overhaul of your perception. Your perception is the lens (beliefs or judgements) through which you filter your experiences. These judgements define the meaning you carry in your memory about these experiences. And these memories become your reference point by which you judge similar experiences in the future.

Now if your memory is defined as a negative experience your ability to see the good in the experience or a similar future experience is critically obscured. Depending on the lens you are looking through you will see an ugly world or a beautiful world, you will see things happening to you rather than for you.


An example of a belief system that can hinder your perception of the world, is believing that you are unworthy to receive love and kindness. Perhaps as a child someone whom you expected would show love and kindness, instead showed disregard and or judgment. This forms a lens of ‘unworthy’ and defines your ability to receive love through this person’s standard for giving love.


In order to unravel this belief system of worthy, you will be required to create your own standard and come to know your own worth. To define your worth would mean gently unwrapping yourself from the labels you have been given and uncover the innate gifts and talents that are patiently waiting to be expressed and seen by you. As these gifts and talents come forward so too does this sense of worth. You are no longer competing for love but standing at the centre of your worth already knowing you are loved.


What you think, feel, speak and do is governed by your belief system and determines how you show up in the world and how the world will show up for you – this is non-negotiable. When we understand that our experience of the world depends on our belief systems, we start to take responsibility for the words, actions and energy we bring into a space. We start to take responsibility for our habits, moods and defining personality that unconsciously (until now) we impose on others.


When you observe yourself at your best – loving, compassionate, considerate, awake and aware to your needs and the needs of others you could say that you are acting with love. When we act with love towards self and others, in each and every situation the highest good and the highest joy is inevitably experienced, and our belief systems begin to lose their power over us.


It’s not always easy to act with love but it is necessary.


Self-discipline is necessary too, to realise that acting with love is the key for a more joyful experience of the world. It is also a key to re-writing destructive belief systems. To act with selfishness, expectation of others and righteousness is an easy habit to fall into as it supports the destructive belief systems that feed the fuel of familiar struggle, but it takes discipline to hold yourself to the highest standards of love.

It is no cliché that being positive brings positivity - it is a fact! Many people get caught up in negativity and find comfort in talking about negative things because it creates a common ground for communication, however the damage it is doing to your world is far greater than any psychological satisfaction or gratification you might get from such a conversation or way of being.


Positivity and negativity are both creation energies, whichever you choose to create your world with, is exactly what you will experience.


Neither is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ as they play their role in our evolution as human beings. They are however opposing energies (charges) that you can harness with free will to create your experiences and store as your memories.


To really understand how these two opposing charges are playing out in your life, it takes some present time consciousness. That is, being consciously aware in the present moment and observing your own behaviour and the behaviour of others. Please do not misunderstand, we are not sitting in a chair of critical judgement, not at all, in fact that would be to miss the point all together. To observe is to be curious, to watch with detachment and see how a negative comment returns for you a negative experience, or a repetitive complaint seems to play like a stuck record in your experiences, or a self-defeating thought that keeps you from ever taking that next step towards success.


Positive energy flows, negative energy stagnates.


With which creative energy are you hearing, speaking, seeing and behaving? Is it creating a joyful experience, or do you find yourself facing the same challenges and struggles day after day?


We have all at some stage heard the phrase, ‘What you focus on grows’. So where is your focus? On the positive or the negative? On beauty or on what is out of place? On limits or on abundance? Everything is a choice and an opportunity for change as we maintain our conscious awareness.



It is time to make clear choices - hear only what you would choose to hear for yourself (recognise the pain that comes from a critical comment and feel compassion), to see only what you would choose to see (see through the illusion) and to speak only of that which you choose for yourself (wise men speak of love).



“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” Audrey Hepburn



So, remember, for the world to change YOU must change FIRST. It is time to reclaim your power to change the world and begin to think, feel, speak, do and focus on only that which you choose to experience. Suddenly the reflection of YOU will be the most magnificent vision you have ever seen.



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